*Insert my gaming credentials that no one really cares about anyway...* Oh, hi there, I run the place so thanks for visiting. Hope you enjoy your stay!
Hurling insults at your game console is a pretty useless endeavor. Blowing off steam is about the only good that can come of it. It’s not like those damn pixels can hear you anyway, or can they? Vile Monarch believes they can and have created a game to do just that Oh…Sir! The Insult Simulator. Engage in an insult battle with your on screen opponent. It doesn’t matter how rude or funny a comment you spew at Kratos, he’s simply not going to react, but these guys will!
So, how’s an insult battle of game work? The two contestants square up with a pool of sentence fragments between them. Each player takes turns trying to form the best insult out of those sentence fragments (sounds a lot like how I write reviews, zing!). The bigger the slam, the higher the damage to your opponents pride. To win be the first one to fully deplete your opponents pride bar. It’s a simple formula for sure, but a fun one.
In a few ways Oh…Sir! reminds me a lot of Mad Libs. Those are always good for a laugh no matter what age you may be. The pulling together of insults from various parts is entertaining, but at times can be slightly frustrating too. The pool of fragments of which to pull from can sometimes leave you short of an actual insult. There are some built in ways to help avoid that, players can choose the […] option to continue their insult into the next round. It has to be available in the word pool though. If not each character has some an option of 2 additional insult parts of which to add and even the ability to refresh them once per insult but that doesn’t always mean you can complete a proper-ish sentence.
Sometimes the random nature of what you have to work with will leave you without anything grammatically correct. Don’t try and force things together that don’t make sense in the English language either, you’ll lose pride for failing English, that’s unpossible! Not having an insult ready can happen in real life too, that’s on you, but in the game it’s more of bad luck of the draw. Part of that bad luck can be compounded by who exactly gets to go first. I could never quite figure out who got to pick first and why, or than 90% of the time it was the AI (the follow up Oh…Sir! The Hollywood Roast it’s far more straight forward on who gets the first pick and why). Going first isn’t the biggest deal, except when the pool of which to craft your insult is severely lacking in anything useful. Getting a conjunction heavy draw which only 3 possible subjects is a recipe for failure when picking second.
That’s enough of the negative though, besides having a game based on humor, which is always good in my book, there are some special features. Each of the characters have special topics or areas that they are sensitive to. Attacking their pride with one of these insults yields far greater results. Even if you don’t hit their “weak spot”, players can pile on with combo’s. Combo’s in Oh…Sir! result from using the same subject as the target of your insult in successive jokes. One “your mamma” insult may hurt someones pride a bit, but it pales in comparison to the 5th straight “your mamma” joke. It’s these types of things that can really carry and vary the game play enough to keep it from feeling too repetitive.
There’s also a good variety of of game modes. There is a single player “tournament” for the friendless among us. For those of us with actual friends, we have couch battles and online for those of us who like to pretend we have friends. Taking all that’s available in to account the $1.99 price tag is extremely reasonable. That’s putting it mildly, it’s good value for the money.
Because Oh…Sir! The Insult Simulator is such good value for the money and a fun experience on top of it, I certainly recommend picking it up. It’s a great diversion and enjoyable way to spend some time. While not exactly one of the deepest games you’ll play, it’s not priced that way either. Even if you just spend a few minutes here and there you won’t be left feeling like you wasted your money. Go pick it up and insult someone today!